i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
