If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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