I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
