I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
from now on my penis is your penis
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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