We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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