I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
