I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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