OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
