Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
