sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
