This is not my ceiling
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
