lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
