please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
