sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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