omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
