Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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