we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
