Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
