is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
