do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
