she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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