R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
