well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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