We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
