he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
