i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
