yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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