Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
