I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
