i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
