My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well you can't waste a boner
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
