You smell like stripper and shame
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
