So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I love you. Go after that dick
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
