on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
