This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
