yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
