Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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