she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
