kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
