do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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