Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
