No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
