I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
