Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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