No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
