I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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