I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
