A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
