so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
