You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
