I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
