So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
